Ever since I was a little girl, I remember telling my mother that I wanted to grow up and model just like her. I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to be on runways and movie screens. Every little girls dream, right?
On December 19, 2006. That dream became my reality. My little "photo shoots" became big "spreads". I started seeing myself in magazines, on websites, and on other ads. At first, I was so happy. I had gotten what I wanted. Finally, I was making it big. I was getting calls about doing different ads, spreads, sponsorships, and everything else. It was unreal. For the first few months, everything went perfect. I enjoyed taking the pictures, enjoyed the fame, and everything else. I started to attract boys, some being ones I had never even known. People came to me in the streets and told me they liked my work. I did beauty pageants, and won them. I went to public places wearing my sashes, and selling stuff for my sponsors. It was the life. By this time, it was 2009, and I was happier than ever. Then a tragedy struck my family. My dad started consuming vast amounts of alcohol daily, my mom became extremely depressed, and my older siblings had left and removed themselves from our family all together. I began to hang out with the wrong crowd and got myself in to a lot of shit. Soon after, in 2010 my parents got a divorce. My dad, moved to South Carolina. My mom moved me and my younger sisters to California. Why California? I got a job, working with Seventeen Magazine. Big stuff, right? At this time, my dream was blowing up into this big thing. Reality was so amazing, that I enjoyed waking up in the mornings. Even though everything else was messing up in my life, I was so happy that my fame was about to get bigger. However, when the fame did get bigger, reality finally hit me. I was living like everything was okay. When actually, I had lost everything. By this time: my family was apart, I had lost all contact with my older siblings, I had little contact with my old friends, and I was always drunk or high. While believing that everything was perfect, it was quite the opposite. It was a disaster. The wonderful dream I was living, turned out to be a walking nightmare. After a few months of working with one of America's top magazine companies, I decided I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I quit. Now, my mom being the bad ass she is, decided she didn't like my decision. I took my friends advice, however, and took control of my life. I told my mom I was not modeling anymore, and she kicked me out. So, off to my alcoholic fathers! For the first few weeks, my dad was nothing but good to me. I was happy again. Then, something happened, and everything blew up again. The alcohol was back in his life, and the drugs and alcohol in mine. I finally had time to focus on everything that had fucked up in my life. I sunk into this deep depression, (which I had kept myself in up until yesterday) and my dad wasn't much of help anyways. He got physical. Things got so bad. Then one day, I got a phone call from Isobel LeBlanc in Augusta, Georgia. I set myself up for the worse, but got a big surprise. We talked for hours. I told her everything. She made me move in with her, to get away from my dad. Though living with my sister was amazing, I had to move back to the wonderful South Carolina. For one person. Christian Long. This boy.. he has changed me so much. So, after a while my dad finally ended up in jail, and now I'm living in this house alone for the summer. Happy as can be.
I'm modeling again, also. I removed myself from the "internet". I made it where finding me is near impossible. So creeps won't stalk me. I now work for an off branch of Elite Modeling. Where they will be covering the cost of a trip to France this summer for all the models and their boyfriends. (Only the girls that work for this branch, though. That's like 10 girls. A ton of girls work for the company as a whole) Now, I've stopped focusing on that part of my life (and everything else that has upset me) and I focus on my future.
Here's to living life, because you'll end up loosing it soon! <3 :)
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